serious fix

2009 has been a very good year for serious fix. Not only has it skyrocketed to the top of the Internet, it saw China and Canada take away it’s serious fix ban which added several million new fans to the Site. Please join me now at taking a look back at what helped make 2009 such a great year for serious fix.

1. Into the Woods @ PA Playhouse – Was it the well written article or all the breast talk that shot the hit count for this article way out of the ball park (get it?)? Who cares? This was the most read article on serious fix and one of the most read articles in China.

2. Couples Retreat – I think it was the perverted masseuse that helped pump this articles hit count to second place.

3. Pandorum… – Could it have been the author’s obvious obsession with dick jokes that set this one on the climb? A solid third place on this.

4. H1N1 – The Ugly Swine Flu – We were so concerned about the Swine Fly (aka Hamthrax) that we had one of our field reporters in CA contract it so she would write about it. She is still alive. Fourth place.

5. H1N1 Vaccine Insert [Read This!] – We believe in warning you about the poisons your leaders agree to dump into you. That is why this article took a hefty fifth place. Because we care.

Stephen Sondheim’s Into the Woods is the latest performance by the PA Playhouse.

SPOILER WARNING: If you are going to see this play please do not read any further as I am going to attempt to tell you how the play ends.

The witch has really large boobs and this play ended on a happy note as everyone was on the stage singing about the woods and bowing at us. Wait. Maybe that was the finale. I really don’t remember the ending (or perhaps I really don’t want to spoil the ending), but, man, was it cool when some old lady got bonked on the head with some thing some dude in a mustachio was holding.

Forget that. I am going to share with you my “Best Of” list. Since there are like 10 items in it you might think of it as a “Top 10″ list, but I assure you there is no intentional order. [I mean, look around the site, people. Do you really think I spend more than thirty seconds on these articles?]

1. The set was awesome.

2. The cows mooing.

3. Prat falls that made me realize how people develop things like arthritis and plumbers crack.

4. Two princes that totally ruled the bush … so to speak.

5. Two giants: One male. One vagiant (female giant for those of you who are thicker than dog feces).

6. Great giant walking sound effects. As the giant got closer my testicles vibrated so much lefty popped out of my waist band on more than one occasion. I can only imagine what the chicks in the audience were feeling.

7. A perverted wolf trying to grab nubile buns.

8. Partial appendage removal.

9. One actor had the longest bio in history. It was like twelve pages long. I kid you not. It took me like a half hour to read while I was on the can. I swear, this bio is as long as Ron Jeremy’s unit.

10. Oh, and the witch had a huge rack. These mammae not only came close to knocking herself and the cast members off the stage. They damn near slapped audience members in the face several rows back. Hell, I saw one old man in the third row getting ready to motorboat those milk jugs.

Check it out if you got time to kill. I suggest taking a flask as the play is a bit on the long side and any alcohol you consume will be burned out of your system before it ends. Just pray the witch’s support garments don’t break like that dam in New Orleans because the last thing you want is Kanye West talking about giant boobs not liking people again.

October 16, 17, 18, 23, 24 & 25, 2009
Friday & Saturday at 8:00pm
Sunday at 3:00pm
Pennsylvania Playhouse
Illicks Mill Road, Bethlehem PA
(between Route 512 and Schoenersville Road)
(610) 865-6665

PS: Did I mention the witch had big boobs?

- tss