serious fix

This story … f that. I don’t want to write a review about this film. I don’t want to think about this film. I don’t care at all about this film. So I am just going to write about it in a rude manner …

“What’s under the hood?” you ask.

1. Creepy baby thing crawling on the floor. Does not fit in with whatever plot the film has, but if you like that kind of thing, there you go.

2. Ghosts of victims of Winchester guns. Okay, they are still sporting their gun powder burned faces. Brilliant.

3. Parents who seem to not care that their daughter is missing. The director needed to rethink the way he worked on this. These people should have been trying desperately to find their missing daughter. Instead they were running away from ghosts and embracing each other during times of danger. Tripe.

4. Really bad death scenes. One guy gets thrown against a wall, walks out of his body, turns to look at his corpse and fades into something like a fog. Oh, I am amazed at the lack of awesomeness.

I got nothing. This film is retarded. I don’t think anyone could make a film this retarded on purpose. Its like someone gave a video camera to a person with a really bad brain tumor and said, “Go film some stuff.” And that person did just that. Yes. I am angry. I just wasted over an hour of my time laying on a couch watching this crap.

** The baby in that poster has nothing at all to do with this incredibly awful movie! NOTHING! It crawls across a floor and climbs up a bed! It has nothing to do with the movie!

With the exception of one character, Harrison Dent (a paranormal investigator played by Tomas Boykin), this film is a waste of time. It has a great setting, but it fails at delivering any serious scares. The feeble attempts to create a frightening atmosphere only detract from a story that may have had a chance with a few more rewrites and the right film crew.

Don’t rent it. Don’t Netlick it. By all means don’t buy it! DON’T DO THIS TO YOURSELF!

Let’s start out first on the story. This chick needs money for a place to live. Instead of hooking like a normal broad she goes out and gets a job babysitting. Only, she finds out the baby is some tall dudes mom … at least that’s what the tall dude says. Oh, and there is this thing going on with the moon and it turns out there is some evil shite afoot and …

Now, what works with this story is the fact that you feel uncomfortable from the beginning no matter how she shakes her silly little tail. The further along you get you realize something is going to happen and it builds and builds for about 50 minutes and then something big happens …

SPOILER WARNING

After the main chick’s friend drops her off at the babysitting gig she pulls off the road to light a cigarette and finds that her lighter doesn’t work. Some dude pushes a lit lighter in front of her making her and me both jump. She lights her cigarette and thanks him. He verifies that she is not the babysitter, all friendly like, and then blows her face off with a pistol. Shocking. This is what is in store for you in the next forty minutes of the film.

The film basically begins to play like a survival horror game. To me, this is why the film works so well. It reminded me of the original Resident Evil and a game called Haunting Ground (PS2) in mood and shock value. If you like this kind of thing, please see this film. It is good.

Check out the Rotten Tomatoes Review below. Killer!

Jace the Great and Bill Cosby and The Cosnarati will be live tonight on Jay Leno. Tune in for some positive Hip-Hop.

So tune into the positivity and be sure to make some Jell-O, cause this show is going to be all that (no bag of chips here unless the Cos did a chip commercial I forgot about … hey hey hey).

Last night a friend and I stopped by the Wildflower Cafe for one of the greatest vegan burritos in town. The owner asked us if we were staying for the show and we said, “No.” We were halfway through our burritos when Rachel began to sing and we paid and stayed through her entire set.

Rachel Marie has a very melodic and solid voice. Her songs are original, honest and well written with lyrics that inspire awe as they capture incredible emotions and thoughts making one connect to the music as if it was a fond memory. Her audience interaction is as if she has been a good friend for years and you are all just hanging out and catching up. Her drummer dude rocked on stage, to (he had some laid back energy that added a mighty fine beat to the music … kudos, man). She will be releasing a CD real soon. I will keep you posted.

If you ever see her name be sure to gather your friends and get to her show. You will be quite pleased and leave knowing that their is still amazing talent in this wiley world of ours.

If you want to hear her songs and watch videos of her, check out the Rachel Marie Fan Page over at facebook and become a fan. This chick is mad good.