By tss | May 4, 2008 - 7:59 pm
Posted in Category: tss

Great movie. So far the best movie of the year. There has been nothing that can stand up to this movie. The choice to use Robert Downey Jr. as the main Stark was perfect. And Tron being in the film just added even more to why I loved this film (Jeff Bridges).

I was going to try to not spoil this film for you, but mother fuck you if you read past this as this is the SPOILER ALERT!

Mother fucking Roberty Downey Jr.

First and foremost the foreshadowing used in the begin of this film is phenomenal. Stark is trying to escape a desert hit and runs into one of his own weapon creations. Needless to say he is blown up and at first looks okay until the blood starts to flow. Most of you know the story from here on out, so let me hit you with some highlights.

Jeff “Tron” Bridges is funny looking in an Iron Man wanna be suit. And though he looks dumb as fuck, he sure packs a mean punch and was obviously thinking when he re-created the Iron Man suit from the desert. (Hey, I fucking warned you.)

Effects in this movie are perfect. From Stark testing out the power of the suit in his garage to his actual flying around the world and destroying shit he once created, it all looks so good. Tron in his big ass hulking iron suit looks so scary I really can’t believe that they did not actually have an ugly ass suit like that made of iron. And I love watching Iron Man getting his ass kicked and then think his way out of a situation.

I know I may sound like a dick, but I do wish there would have been more ass kickings in this film. No, this in no way takes away from this film as I deem it near perfect, rather I would have loved to see much more of Iron Man doing what Iron Man does (flying around destroying shit not so willy nilly). That, ’cause as it stands now this film will make for a really short video game.

Oh, for those who have seen this film: Do you think Stan Lee banged any of those bitches?

When you see this movie be sure to stay past the credits. Don’t let your convenience store, ADHD asses get taken away about dreams of Ritalin and WAWA. Fucking stay for after the credits Stark has a visit from Samule L. Jackson (head of SHIELD) stating, in few words, that there will be a Part 2 to this mother fucker. And you can bet your dumb asses I will be there.

Now fuck off until the podcast!

By tss | May 2, 2008 - 11:10 pm
Posted in Category: tss

So I was taking a shower the other morning minding my own business.  As I do every shower, I picked my left nostril, but this time I broke a blood vessel on my septum and bled like a pig.  I covered my nose and immediately began choking on blood and spitting out cupfuls of it.  I applied pressure, got semi clothed and drive myself to the hospital.  When I got there I could barely answer questions and just handed them my wallet.  Shock from loss of blood can be quite a not so fun time.  That, and I had to miss work so my blood could build back up.  My near death experience was teh suck.

Fun fucjking game.

For those of you who loved Serial Juggernaut (see link on the side, ass) you will love what is coming up.  Launching soon the official serious fix Shoutcast station.  Only seven unlucky fucks will get to listen at time so fucking line up, bitches.  Did I hear a rumor of Serial Juggernaut Volume 2?

Dungeon Explorer, Warriors of Ancient Arts for the DS is a lot of fun.  Hack and slash goodness for those of you who like to pick up and play.  You can save from anywhere in the game (but you start back in town … no big deal, though) and it is a good time on the toilet, to.  I really haven’t mastered any of the arts yet, and the controls and camera can get a bit odd, but this game is a lot of fun.  If you liked Diablo you may really like this.  Of course, the game could take a turn for the worse and begin to blow ass at any time.  Trust me, if it begins to suck I will write a lot about it.

By tss | April 17, 2008 - 5:44 pm
Posted in Category: tss

Imagine if Conan grudge fucked Fable. You get all the best violence and action of Conan with the incredible graphics of Fable x 10. This Viking games slays ass. Let me tell you, this is one game that I have to make myself put down. If I don’t my eyes start bleeding from dryness.

Basically you clear islands of bad guys, find loot and learn how to use a dragon to help you in your larger battles. There are a ton of moves you can learn in the game, but I found that you can get through a lot of it without using them. The benefit of these moves are the death animations. Fatalities are wondrous as bodies fall in half, limbs twitching as they fall to the ground.

Did I fail to mention that once your army is large enough you have access to battles with hundreds of Vikings and bad asses on the screen at one time. On my Xbox this worked perfectly. I noticed no slowdown and had no problems with it (IGN … what the fuck were you talking about?). You can get lost in the crowd at times, though, and it can piss you off a bit. But slaying hundreds of foes far outweighs getting lost in the carnage.

I have noticed a few camera problems where I will be in the heat of battle and lose sight of myself. This does suck nuts. But, it is not hard to readjust the camera without losing too many shots on your opponents.

Hey, if you loved Conan you will really love this. It basically improved what was in Conan quite a bit. If not, rent it and check it out. I hear it is only about 10 to 12 hours long. You know you will hear more about this when I finish it.

By tss | February 4, 2008 - 8:05 pm
Posted in Category: tss

Rambo aka Cuttin’ Mother Fucker In Half kicked ass.  I love these movies.  Fuck Rocky.  Rocky is about a retard that marries a retard.  I don’t need that shit.  But Rambo … that mother rules.

Cuttin' Mother Fuckers In Half

“I am cutting you in half you mother fucker!” 

It starts out the usual way.  “No.  I don’t want to do it.  That is the past and the past is behind me.”  And then someone (in this case some bitch) says something like, “That may be.  But this is bigger than you.  This is huge.  And you are the only one that can help.”  And once again Rambo bends and goes into a war zone which makes for some of the funnest blood filled adventure action packed scenes.  I am not kidding when I say he cuts people in half.  Rambo with a 50 caliber blows head off, cuts torsos in half, removes limbs and just plain takes lives.

For those of you who saw this:  Didn’t Stallone’s head get big as fuck?  I love the guy and think he’s the greatest, but his head grew huge … physically.  That nugget is bigger than Queen Latifah’s stomach.

Command & Conquer 3, Tiberium Wars:  This game is brilliant.  The only RTS I have played on the Xbox 360 and I am digging it.  I can see how some people don’t like the speed at which the AI plays while trying to build, dispatch, etc. with the console controller, but fuck them.  If they could just get with this game for a while they will see that its like a sweet, time consumer.  I will be kicking pantshater24’s ass later tonight in multi player.  So next time you see him, ask him how it felt to have his prolapsed rectum handed to him.

Mass Effect:  I can see why some of you love this game and I probably would have really loved it had I stayed on the path of the story.  Alas, I ventured out into the extra shit and got lost.  I hate this fucking game.  Even with the story you have to listen to up to one hour of dialog.  This is great for some, but way too much for me.  I will be trading this heap of ass in because I can’t see boring the fuck out of myself much longer.  Again, I am doing it to myself.  If you dig this game, god bless  you you boring mother fucker.