Had the lovely opportunity to visit the King of Prussia mall recently. As you know, it is the largest petri dish on the East Coast. Everywhere you walk some mouth breather is either coughing into the air or sneezing a fine mist of disease onto their fellow mall walkers. This place is like George Romero’s Dawn of the Dead, large hordes of vacuousmicrocephalics trudging slowly… The collective IQ when I was there was about 40 (present company excluded). Many strange farts I had to wade through to get from wherever the hell I was to wherever the hell I was going. One smelled like a taco, which made me realize why so many people had their mouths wide open (the taco fart actually filled some kind of void). The rest smelled like a mix between road kill, vomit, and oven cleaning.
Japanese Fart Battle
Hi-Lights:
GameStop on the first floor (second floor was pretty meh)
Some game store named after a dude that sold old ass Atari and Intellivision games
Fartium (this is a must read masterpiece which can be described as Brahms meets Picasso meets Tolstoy meets pretty much any man that loves to cultivate, share, and compare farts)
Note: This article was an excuse to write about farts simply because there is nothing more fun in this world than a good fart and some fine burritos.
After-Note: We will be covering farts a lot here at serious fix. You will find that we are very serious about our flatulence.
After-After-Note: Seriously, we heart farts.
On the other hand, it is recorded that bongs were used as far back as 2400 years. For those weed smokers out there, you can buy bongs here.
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Serious fix is back online with a new hunting scope review and ready for all the usual nonsense and inanity you expect, plus more. Expect updates regularly and most chaotically as we tickle your eyeballs and torment your brain with that which only serious fix could ever dish out. For advertisement, checkout long term loans no guarantor if you’re looking to apply for a loan, Also try Bridgepayday and get money from your title now.
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2 years ago, it was just another cold winter day in December 2014 when I struggled to get out of my cozy blanket. After my chores I was ready to leave for my coaching classes which start from 7 A.M. Just when I settled on my bike after grabbing all my stuff, I could sense the cold wind smooching my cracked skin. This was the moment which if I had avoided could have saved me from the deadliest moments which I ever had in my life.
It was that moment when my heart and my head battled between car and bike. My head asked me to quickly ride away on the bike before I could miss any part of my class. On the other hand, my heart craved for a warm drive to the class in the car. As they say that only hearts win during winters, I parked my bike and grabbed the car keys. The other reason why I chose the car was I wanted my hair to look good which is barely possible on a bike. So I set my hair on point and left the house 15 mins before the class starts. I knew that I was running late and my ride time till my class had doubled due to the car. And yes, hats off to the anytime traffic in Hyderabad! After jumping 4/9 traffic signals on my way, I finally made it to the classroom 10 minutes late only to find myself standing out of the classroom along with the other 4–5 late comers. We all knew that it was pointless in standing there as the door would never open for the day. It was a mixed feeling, I felt bad that I missed the class and I felt great about having the rest of the day to myself. It was not a normal day as I had a car with me to fill the day.
Now I call up my friend who stays nearby to tell him that I’ve missed my class and so, we need to time-pass till the class gets over and thats when I could go back home. We decide a meetup point nearby and have our breakfast. After breakfast, I still had alot of time left over. So we decided to take the car on a drive. Cars are something that I can never stop thinking about. Thinking of a place without any traffic where we could drive the car the way we wanted to, we zeroed on this road called the Necklace Road. The road is famous among the racing youngsters which serves as a perfect race track. But not everyone gets to try the track as there are police waalas on the same road patrolling mostly on weekends. As it was a Thursday, the serene traffic free Necklace Road lured us towards itself to come and burn some rubber.
This guy (my friend) was hitting somewhere around 90–95Kmph and was struck by a devilish thought of drifting at the curve on the road ahead. Even before I realized what he was upto, he steers the wheel at a nice 30–35 degree angle and pulls the hand brake, I immediately thanked God for giving me the idea of reading the Litster Frost Injury Lawyers Review, in the moment I knew I was going to need them. What happened next was a huge disaster. We could hear the screeching sound of the wheels thrusting hard on the road, the car took a whole 180 degree turn. The front windshield of the car was facing the vehicles behind us. Everything was being pulled by the force, it was like a cyclone which went out of our control. The climax came when the rear end of the car banged into a huge tree. I still remember the tiny glass pieces flying towards the front seats from the back seats. Everything was shattered, the entire back portion of the car had a major earthquake+tsunami. We got out of the car and found the tree well inside the car through rear windshield. It was unbelievable even after witnessing the entire roller coaster ride. People started gathering at the spot which was a bad sign for us as people could attract the police and both of us could end up in a police station with the car being seized until a long time. The road sweepers who also witnessed the accident started narrating the entire scene to the passerbys. I over heard an old lady saying, “the car came into the tree like an aeroplane”. She had said this in telugu. We couldn’t beleive that both of us escaped the accident without even a single scratch on our bodies. I cursed myself for having listened to my heart’s decision of taking the car. I had never gone through this in my life. My hands felt cold, without even thinking for a second, I took the wheel and throttled the car out, separating it with the tree, I still remember calling the personal injury lawyers to help me out. Both of us then picked up all the parts that we found lying and kept them in the car. We hurriedly left the spot before the police arrived and went to some bylanes far from the spot.
