The Petri Dish aka King of Prussia Mall & Farts
January 31, 2016
Had the lovely opportunity to visit the King of Prussia mall recently. As you know, it is the largest petri dish on the East Coast. Everywhere you walk some mouth breather is either coughing into the air or sneezing a fine mist of disease onto their fellow mall walkers. This place is like George Romero’s Dawn of the Dead, large hordes of vacuous microcephalics trudging slowly… The collective IQ when I was there was about 40 (present company excluded). Many strange farts I had to wade through to get from wherever the hell I was to wherever the hell I was going. One smelled like a taco, which made me realize why so many people had their mouths wide open (the taco fart actually filled some kind of void). The rest smelled like a mix between road kill, vomit, and oven cleaning.
- GameStop on the first floor (second floor was pretty meh)
- Some game store named after a dude that sold old ass Atari and Intellivision games
- Chipotle because screw corporate sabotage
- The taco fart
- Facts on Farts
- Can Smelling Farts Cure Cancer
- Fartium (this is a must read masterpiece which can be described as Brahms meets Picasso meets Tolstoy meets pretty much any man that loves to cultivate, share, and compare farts)
Note: This article was an excuse to write about farts simply because there is nothing more fun in this world than a good fart and some fine burritos.
After-Note: We will be covering farts a lot here at serious fix. You will find that we are very serious about our flatulence.
After-After-Note: Seriously, we heart farts.
On the other hand, it is recorded that bongs were used as far back as 2400 years. For those weed smokers out there, you can buy bongs here.
